Admin's blog
Ruffled Feathers and Moderation Policy
Running a site like this has many rewarding and some less-than-rewarding moments.
The less-than-rewarding moments usually involve dealing with crazy people. Or, as the case may be (thank God), one crazy person. Truth is, I think I'm lucky that of the 900+ people who have ever registered on this site, there was only one that really made me wish I had never started operating AllFighters.info. The reason I'm writing "was" is that I have just used the Admin's Banhammer for the first time since the site started 5 months ago. This person has been the most destructive one to our site ever.
I'm not going into rant mode, but the gist is this: our terms of service quite clearly states that this site is not for harassing other members in any shape or form. Yet this person took it upon himself to write and revise a bad recommendation 13 times within a month, write blog entries about the object of his malice, and lace his own profile introduction text with colorful terms regarding him, such as "gnat".
All the while I try to reason with the guy. Try to ask, plead, beg for him to stop, and all I get are self-righteous tirades, condescending assertions of his superior moral position and aggravating refusal to acknowledge that what he's doing is just plain wrong. Despite my hopes that the guy might be reasoned with, our final exchange involved a deal: He'd clean some personal attacks on other members from his profile in exchange for me deleting a bad recommendation he got from a member whom he has managed to chase off before. So he did clean up his profile (carrot worked), and I removed the bad recommendation. Imagine my surprise when, two weeks later, he goes and posts the same old crap back on his profile.
So after exchanging a total of 61 infuriating and utterly useless messages, I just gave up. I guess, he won.
One good thing has, however, come from this fiasco: I now have a procedure for dealing with the rest of his kind, should they rear their unwholesome heads again. The procedure is simple:
- Send a warning message, explaining the problem politely, referencing exactly what the problem is and asking for acknowledgment. If clarification is asked, it is given in followup messages.
- If the warning is not acknowledged, or the member engages in further abuse, the profile is moderated for a period of 7 days. After the period is over, the member needs to read and accept the site terms of service again to reactivate his profile.
- If abuse continues after moderation, the profile is deleted permanently.
Comments are welcome.
DaveLon (2)
18.5.2009 15:16What a shame you have had this trouble. The site is great!
Admin
18.5.2009 15:19Your support is appreciated, Dave.
saesneg (0)
19.5.2009 21:33Been there and done this myself on a group I moderate. You'll bounce e-mails back and forth with people like that and absolutely nothing you say makes any difference. Some people just think they are above obeying the rules, the only answer is to enforce those rules.
IndyWarrior (39)
20.5.2009 11:30I agree. I very much like the option of posting recommendations, but we're all adults and if you don't happen to have a good match with a guy, there's no reason to slag them off personally; stick to the facts (like if you travelled to meet someone and they didn't show or respond, that's worth knowing). But keep it polite.
People like the one you describe are why most personal contact boards, dating or sports or otherwise, don't have a similar feature, beyond maybe a "rating" system.
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience, Sile, and hopefully you don't have too many more of them. I'd hate to see that feature go away!
blimpmang (0)
13.5.2011 8:48im incredibly surprised you were that patient with this guy. you should have just banned him asap if he's that big of a jerk. you're doing the community a favor and shouldn't have to stress over anyone.
MancsMonkey (0)
29.4.2012 1:34What happened was not very nice but the tone of the writing is incredibly moralistic - not aperson I would like to meet.
Slookm (2)
08.10.2013 20:11Wow! You went way above and beyond what most people would have with this obviously disturbed Angry man . I'd have sacked him the first go round. You run a great site here. One I enjoy very much. I have met several guys and had meets .
Thanks for all your work and time put in to make it easy and most interesting to find,chat and make new friends and wrestle mates.
Cheers to You and all your efforts.
bodycontactau (1)
13.6.2014 14:44I have learnt that you can't deal with unreasonable people by being reasonable.
Masculine (14)
16.1.2017 9:12You said that "I guess he won".
Why did you not delete his account?
Admin
16.1.2017 11:35(In antwoord hierop)
This is an old, old post from the time when the site was still young and site administration was a very soft touch. We have learned a lot since and have become far better at handling issues without getting our feathers ruffled. :)